


Coming Back To Me

by centreoftheselights



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Actor Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Bittersweet, Dancing, Exes, Getting Back Together, Happy Ending, Kissing, M/M, Original Character Death(s), Past Character Death, Past Divorce, Reuniting, Shared History, formal party
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-16
Updated: 2019-01-16
Packaged: 2019-10-11 06:27:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,286
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17441657
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/centreoftheselights/pseuds/centreoftheselights
Summary: Roman hasn't seen Logan in over ten years. So why does it feel like it was yesterday?





	Coming Back To Me

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by (of course) the Meat Loaf song ["It's All Coming Back To Me Now"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x8xTZIOAPhs).

Fifteen years.

“Congratulations!” Roman hugs each of the men in front of him in turn, a huge smile on his face. “I can't believe it's been so long! It feels like the wedding was yesterday.”

“I know, doesn't it?” Patton gushes, taking his husband's hand with the soppiest look on his face. Virgil gazes back at him, just as lovestruck. “We're so glad you could finally make it back to one of our little parties! How have you been?”

Roman chatters on, talking about filming schedules and award nominations and potential sequels in the works. But all too soon, there's another friend coming over to congratulate the happy couple, and Roman takes his cue to leave.

He wishes he hadn't come.

Patton and Virgil are some of his oldest, dearest friends, it's true. Only… he hasn't kept in touch as well as he maybe should have done. Definitely not well enough to justify monopolising their time on their special night, this huge anniversary ball that Virgil's parents have insisted on throwing for them.

And now he's stood in this room full of people he doesn't know – and a few he knows and doesn't like – and he's regretting ever deciding to RSVP. He makes the rounds, sleepwalks through all the usual small talk, and is just wondering if it's too early to sneak back to his hotel when he sees -

Logan. Unmistakeably Logan.

The first man Roman ever loved. The first man who ever broke his heart.

And he's headed this way.

“Being here is reminding me why I'm glad I'm not in my twenties any more.” The words are so quintessentially Logan that it startles a laugh out of Roman, even though his heart is aching. “But it's good to see you again, Roman.”

“You too, nerd.”

Roman doesn't know what to do with his hands, where to look, what to say. Suddenly, it all comes flooding back – the joy, the passion, the love. The arguing, the harsh words, the slamming door.

Roman had left that very evening and asked Patton to collect his things. He hasn't seen Logan since that night.

“It must have been what, ten years?” He says it like he doesn't know the exact date.

“Twelve in march, actually,” Logan corrects him. “A long time.”

The words “too long” hang on Roman's tongue, but he can't bring himself to say them. Longer apart than they ever had together, but right now Roman feels as though it all happened yesterday.

“How have you been?” Logan asks.

“I got divorced.”

The words are out of Roman's mouth before he can think twice about them. It's been a popular topic of conversation tonight, since the whole thing got raked through the tabloids, but it's the first time Roman has chosen to bring it up. He isn't sure why he did it.

“I signed the papers six months ago, but it was coming for a couple of years. Things just never clicked between us, you know?”

He makes a hand gesture, as though what he just said makes sense.

Then he sees it. A silver ring, on Logan's fourth finger.

“But you're...?”

Logan looks down at the ring, and then he smiles, a small, sad expression that is completely new. And suddenly Roman realises that Logan is a different person, that this Logan is no more the man he remembered than he is still his twenty-four year old self.

“Something to remember him by,” Logan says.

“Oh.” Roman's heart breaks all over again. “Lo, I'm so sorry.”

“He passed... two years ago in August. Time doesn't heal everything but... it gets easier.”

“Dance with me.”

It's impulsive – the kind of impulsive Roman didn't think he was any more. Logan stiffens, and then starts to smile.

“You always tried to drag me onto the dancefloor at this sort of thing.”

“You're an incredible dancer. You should share it with the world.” Roman grins. “Besides, it's better than sulking in a corner all night and leaving early.”

“Ten pm is a perfectly reasonable time to go to sleep.”

“Not if you're at a party!”

It's a back-and-forth they've had a thousand times before, and Roman falls back into it as easy as breathing.

But then he breaks the script:

“You can't distract me by turning this into a debate. Come on, dance with me for old times sake?”

“No,” Logan says, and Roman tries to hide the hurt on his face.

Then Logan takes his hand.

“I'll dance with you for tonight's sake instead.”

They step out onto the dancefloor. It's playing an old power ballad, slow and sensual. Roman puts his arms around Logan, and he isn't prepared for how easy this is. He feels like they've danced this dance before, a thousand years ago at some house party or college formal, and now here they are in well-fitting suits a decade later, and Logan still smells the same pressed against him, still taps the beat of the music against Roman's neck, still crinkles the corners of his eyes when he smiles -

And Roman dips him at one point, and Logan laughs, and Roman has to remind himself not to kiss Logan, because that's what he does. _D_ _id_. He _was_ the person who kissed Logan, right up until he wasn't any more. Only, he doesn't know how to be anyone else when Logan is here, and smiling at him like that.

After that first dance he talks Logan into a second, and then a third. They take a break, and Logan insists that they both drink something to remain hydrated. And then he turns to Roman and says:

“We should go.”

“What?” Roman asks.

“You don't want to be here,” Logan says. “You don't care about any of these people. If you did, you wouldn't be dancing so much with me.”

“Maybe I want to catch up.”

“Dancing isn't talking, Roman.”

“I haven't seen you for so long, I -”

It feels like leaving all over again. Roman's heart doesn't know when he is any more.

“Please, can we just stay another hour or two?” He tries to sound bright, but he's a second away from crying.

Then Logan frowns, looks him up and down slowly.

“I think you've misunderstood my meaning, Roman. We should go, together.”

Oh.

“I have a hotel room about ten minutes away. It's a much more fitting setting for this conversation.”

Roman blinks at him a couple of times, then nods.

“Yeah, okay. We can do that.”

They walk outside. It's a cold night, and the stars are out. Logan always looks sharper in the moonlight, but his eyes are soft as he cranes his neck up to look at the sky. And Roman's heart is aching, aching, aching. He wants to kiss Logan, but he knows that would be too much, far too fast.

“Roman,” Logan says softly. “Would it be too much to ask you to kiss me?”

Roman starts.

“What about -” He waves a hand at Logan's ring.

“He wanted me to be happy,” Logan says. “And – can we forget about that? Just for tonight. I... I missed you.”

“I'm sorry,” Roman says. “For -”

Logan cuts him off with a sharp look.

“Don't be,” he says. “I wouldn't have changed a moment of it.”

Roman smiles.

“Neither would I.”

Their lips meet, and it's like fire against the cold night air. Logan buries his fingers in Roman's hair, and Roman holds him as tight as he dares, and for a moment he feels like everything in the world is perfect.

It won't be easy. They aren't the same people they once were. Maybe it won't work at all.

But right now, this moment?

This is worth trying for.


End file.
